Being authentic
In a world that often celebrates appearances over substance, being authentic can feel like a breath of fresh air. It’s about staying true to who you are, what you believe, and how you live, even when it feels like the whole world is nudging you to fit into a mold. But as straightforward as might sound, authenticity can be tricky to nail down. It’s a journey, not a destination. Let’s take a look at a few key ideas that can help when it comes to living an authentic life
It’s simple but not easy
At its most basic, being authentic is all about being true to yourself—living in a way that feels aligned with who you really are. Sounds simple, right? Well, not quite. While the idea is straightforward, putting it into practice can feel like trying to navigate a maze blindfolded. Life constantly bombards us with expectations—what our family wants, what our friends expect, and what society says is "right." It’s no wonder we sometimes lose track of what’s genuinely ours and what we’ve picked up along the way.
Think about it: how often do we make choices because they’re what we truly want versus what we think we should want? A perfect example is choosing a career. Maybe you’ve felt the pressure to pursue something stable, impressive, or financially rewarding, even though your heart whispers about a different path. It could be a creative dream, a passion for helping others, or a love for a niche field that makes your eyes light up. Following that inner voice can be terrifying! It might mean disappointing people you care about or stepping into the great unknown. But you know what? Honouring your true desires is one of the most courageous things you can do. It shows that you value your happiness and fulfilment enough to take a stand for it.
Does this mean everything will magically fall into place if you live authentically? Not exactly. Life will still have its ups and downs. But there’s a huge difference between facing challenges in a life that feels true to you versus one that doesn’t. Living authentically means you’re working with the grain of your own spirit, not against it. And that kind of alignment? It’s worth every ounce of effort.
If this feels overwhelming, don’t worry—you don’t need to figure it all out at once. Start small. Begin by asking yourself questions like, “What truly matters to me?” or “Am I making choices that feel right for who I am?” Take time to reflect honestly on your answers. These little moments of self-awareness are like breadcrumbs leading you back to your authentic self.
The journey to authenticity is ongoing, but each step you take brings you closer to a life that feels more "you." Trust yourself, lean into the process, and remember: you’re worth it.
Seeing what’s real and dealing with it
Being authentic means embracing the courage to be real—with yourself and the world around you. It’s not always easy, though. Being authentic often means confronting uncomfortable truths that we’d rather push aside. But here’s the thing: living an authentic life isn’t possible if you’re not willing to look reality in the eye. It’s challenging, sure, but it’s also deeply rewarding.
Imagine that you’ve noticed that a friendship or relationship doesn’t feel quite right anymore. That gut feeling is trying to tell you something, but ignoring it can feel like the easier path. The trouble is, when you ignore your instincts, you create a gap between how you feel inside and how you’re living your life. It’s like trying to walk in shoes that don’t fit—uncomfortable and unsustainable. When you face reality, no matter how hard it seems at first, you create space for a life that reflects who you truly are. And that’s powerful.
Just to be clear, authenticity isn’t about having it all together or somehow being perfect. It’s about being honest. It’s about saying, “Hey, this is me, flaws and all,” and embracing that person wholeheartedly. Owning your imperfections, celebrating your strengths, and showing yourself kindness when you make mistakes—that’s the essence of living authentically. When you accept yourself as you are, something amazing happens: you start forming deeper, more meaningful connections with others. Why? Because the people that you’ll value, and that will value you, are drawn to realness. They see your vulnerability and feel safe showing theirs, too. It’s a reminder that we’re all just human, navigating this messy, beautiful life together.
Another great thing about authentically facing reality is that it builds resilience. Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and challenges can knock you off course. But when you face those obstacles with honesty and stay true to yourself, you become better equipped to handle whatever comes your way. Authenticity doesn’t shield you from struggles, but it does give you the strength and clarity to move through them with integrity.
At the end of the day, living authentically is about showing up as your full self, even when it’s hard. It’s not about perfection; it’s about being open, honest and real. When you make the choice and commit to it, you’ll find that you discover a sense of freedom and fulfilment that’s worth every moment of discomfort.
Turn off autopilot and be deliberate
So many people seem to live their lives on autopilot. You may know the feeling, or you’ve seen it around you. Just going through the motions, ticking boxes, making the safe, easy choices and essentially living life on cruise control.
It’s like your body’s in action, but your mind is a million miles away. If that sounds familiar, don’t worry, we’ve all been there. Life is hectic, and it’s easy to fall into routines without stopping to ask, “Is this really what I want?”
Living authentically means turning off that autopilot switch and taking back the controls.
Tune in
Mindfulness can be a fantastic way to break free from your autopilot. It gives you the space to slow down and tune into the present moment instead of letting life blur by. Have you ever caught yourself saying “yes” to something out of habit, even though it leaves you feeling drained? That’s autopilot at work. Mindfulness gives you the space to pause, breathe, and ask yourself, “Does this choice feel right for me?” It’s not about getting it perfect every time—it’s about learning to listen to that little voice inside that says, “Hey, something feels off.”
Align your goals with your values
A great tool in starting to live deliberately is by setting meaningful goals. Don’t fall into the trap of setting bland, generic resolutions like “be healthier” or “make more money.” Instead, ask yourself: What makes me feel alive? What excites me? When your goals are tied to your core values—things like creativity, connection, or growth—you’re not just chasing achievements; you’re building a life that feels fulfilling and authentic. And when life gets chaotic (because it always does), those values-driven goals act like a compass, helping you stay focused on what truly matters.
Embrace change - step out of your comfort zone
Growth and authenticity are like best friends—they push you to try new things, take risks, and leave your comfort zone behind, even when it’s not easy. Change can feel scary and uncomfortable, but it’s also where the magic happens. Every time you step into the unknown, you’re giving yourself a chance to grow into the most genuine version of you.
So flip that switch, swap autopilot for intentionality, mindfulness, and a willingness to embrace what feels right. It’s not about getting it perfect—it’s about showing up for yourself, one deliberate choice at a time.
Words and actions
When words and actions align it’s a clear sign that things are both authentic and true. And when they don’t? If words and actions disagree? Believe the actions!
That’s not to say that we don’t all get it wrong from time to time, so be prepared to be patient with yourself and with others. Authenticity isn’t a fixed state, it’s a practice. And like every practice it takes time and effort.
If you look back at your day and think that things felt a little “off”, consider making an adjustment. You might ask yourself, “Did I do what I said I would? Are my actions really reflecting the person I want to be?”
If you identify a gap, try to think of a change you could have made. Maybe that’s taking a deep breath before reacting in a difficult conversation. It might be as simple as bringing along a reusable coffee cup, and not throwing a paper one away. Small wins like these might seem insignificant, but they’re powerful building blocks.
As your actions start to line up more completely with your values, you’ll notice a cumulative effect. You’ll feel a stronger sense of belief in yourself—knowing that you’re living in a way that feels right. And it won’t just be you that sees it. The people around you will see you as someone they can rely on, someone whose actions speak as loudly as their words. That consistency creates a sense of peace, both within you and in your relationships.
When you feel out of sync, keep in mind that authenticity is all about the journey. There is no destination. Each small, intentional choice you make brings you closer to the person you want to be and strengthens your connection to the world around you.
Do you know where you’re going?
Being authentic doesn’t mean having everything figured out—it’s not about having that perfect plan and knowing every twist and turn ahead. But if you work at it, if you’re true to yourself and your values you’ll find that it gives you a sense of direction. You might think of it like carrying a compass as opposed to having a detailed map. Something that helps you continue to move towards what matters most, even when the path ahead is unclear.
A great way to start is to think about your core values. Those things that feel non-negotiable in your life. These are the principles that shape your decisions and give your life its unique flavour. Maybe you’re driven by creativity, a deep sense of connection with others, or a desire to make a positive impact in the world. Whatever your values are, they act as your North Star, gently steering you towards choices that align with who you truly are.
Don’t worry too much if this feels like a difficult thing to do. Identifying your values is an ongoing process and is also going to change over time and as life changes. So start small. Try to think of one or two moments that made you feel most alive or proud of who you are. What did they have in common? Those threads often lead you straight to your core values.
Life is constantly changing, and with it, so are you. Being authentic doesn’t mean clinging tightly to one specific version of yourself or one rigid path. It’s about being honest with yourself and allowing yourself to adjust, as you grow. Your sense of direction might shift as your priorities or circumstances change, and that’s not a failure—that’s growth.
Think of it like sailing: sometimes the winds change, and you have to adjust your sails to keep moving. It’s not about abandoning your destination; it’s about finding new ways to move forward while staying true to what matters most.
Having a sense of direction doesn’t mean life will be free from challenges—far from it. But when you’re grounded in your values, you’ll find it easier to face those challenges head-on. Knowing what truly matters to you can act as an anchor during life’s storms. It helps you make decisions with clarity and confidence, even when the choices are tough.
The next time life throws you a curveball, remind yourself of your compass. It may not solve the problem, but it will help you to stay steady and grounded as you navigate your way through it.
Pulling it all together
Being authentic isn’t about striving for perfection—it’s about being real, raw, and unapologetically you. It’s about peeling back the layers of societal expectations, self-doubt, and fear to let your true self shine through. Authenticity is showing up just as you are, with all your strengths, quirks, and even those flaws you might prefer to hide. It’s not about having it all figured out; it’s about being willing to figure it out as you go.
Living authentically means making choices that reflect your values and align with who you truly are, even when it feels uncomfortable or challenging. It’s about owning your truth, living deliberately, and trusting yourself to navigate the path you’re meant to take. Yes, the concept is simple, but won’t always be easy. And that’s ok. Authenticity demands courage to face reality head-on, commitment to align your actions with your intentions, and patience to chart your own course instead of following someone else’s map.
The beauty of living authentically is that it opens the door to a life that feels truly fulfilling. When you let go of the pressure to conform or please everyone else, you make room for experiences, relationships, and opportunities that genuinely resonate with you. Authenticity leads to a sense of freedom—a weight lifted when you no longer need to pretend to be someone you’re not. Don’t be surprised if as you embrace your real self, some people and relationships drift away, and others may begin to form that you find much more rewarding. When you show your unique perspective and presence it can inspire others to do the same.
It’s not about a perfect end goal, but about building a life that feels deeply meaningful and uniquely yours. You even get to define what success looks like, what happiness means, and how you want to live your days. That’s a pretty amazing place to be.
Maybe you’ve already started on your authentic journey, or maybe you’re ready for that first step. It really doesn’t matter. After all, it’s not about overhauling your entire life overnight but about taking things one small, manageable step at a time.
Start by asking yourself honest questions: What really matters to me? What am I passionate about? What makes me feel alive? Be patient as the answers unfold. Embrace your imperfections instead of battling them, because they’re part of what makes you beautifully human.
Make deliberate choices that reflect your values, even if they feel tough in the moment. And remember, this is a journey, not a race. There’s no finish line for authenticity; it’s a way of being, a practice you refine and grow into over time.